Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Can`t wait to be full of Christmas beer! I mean cheer. No, I definitely mean beer.
You’re going to make some cats very happy one day.
Being fat is when you watch Jurassic Park and wonder if dinosaur tastes good.
I hate when I’m comfortable in bed and I forget my iPhone in the other room!
When sliding down the banister of life, always make sure that the end is knob free!
I hardly know you…. but, Facebook says it’s your birthday, so happy birthday!
When two people love each other deeply, nothing is impossible. Except deciding on where to eat.
Got tasered at speed dating again.
Apparently you can not demand to be strip searched.
It`s no fun having nothing to do, fun is having a lot to do and doing nothing.
Being in the doghouse isn`t so bad if there`s enough beer in the bowl.
Sorry I ordered a salad and then ate all your fries.
With my luck, I’ll die and get reincarnated as myself.
Me: I`m gonna lose weight. Me: I`m gonna exercise every day. Me: I`m gonna go on a diet and stick to it. Me: Is that cake?
Back in the day, Mom gave us two dinner choices. What she cooked or jack sh!t....