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I`m going to stand outside. So, if anyone asks, I`m outstanding.
You`re so dumb you have to get naked to count to 21.
Like my therapist always says, "I`m not your therapist, you`re just laying on a couch in Ikea"
I`m getting sick of seeing all these lyric status`s, it reminds me of somebody that I used to know.
The way you feel when your phone dies is exactly how Cinderella must have felt at midnight
If you can`t remember my name, just say `donuts`.... I`ll turn around and look.
The best black Friday deal ... sleep - $0.
Sorry I said "What is it?" when you showed me your baby.
I`m not antisocial. I`m pro leave-me-the-hell-alone.
For the record "Wanna do it?" is not foreplay....
You fake your smile daily, then judge people for getting a fake tan.
I’m not surprised you’re having problems I had a bad experience with your reality once too.
Based on the number of smoke breaks they take, I’m pretty sure the only reason my co-workers have a job is to pay for their cigarettes.
I`ve been repeating the same mistakes in life for so long now I may as well call them traditions.
Just because I`m nodding my head at appropriate times while you`re talking doesn`t mean I give a sh!t about what you`re saying..