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To those that manufacture and market tight, thin yoga pants to fit college girls; I love you man.
During the summer months, be sure to dress for the body you have. Not the body you want.
Life is better when you can share it with a friend that has the same sick, twisted personality as yourself.
My insurance company said if my tent is stolen while I`m camping, I won`t be covered.
I got a letter from my crush on Valentine`s Day. Well, technically it`s a restraining order but still....
Lazy Fact #69302246777573 - You were too lazy to read that number.
should probably get my daily dose of calcium.. white russians it is
I don`t think my neighbor knows my rule about not interacting unless we`re both pointing at the same tornado.
Monday: A terrible way to spend 1/7 of your life.
Easy come, easy go describes my last 12 cases of beer and 17 relationships.
I want someone to look at me the way I look at cupcakes.
I`m saving all my good posts for when I can think of some.
That moment when you have so many things to do...So you decide to take a nap instead!
You don`t need to use your words if you`re carrying a machete. People just seem to figure it out.
Have you ever loved someone so much, you wanted to keep them hidden from the world and all to yourself? Well, apparently its called kidnapping