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Technically it was Moses that had the first tablet that could connect to the cloud.
2 words, 1 finger.
Aren`t you too fat to be this rude?
I love how in movies when someone types a really embarrassing secret they always accidentally send it to the whole school, and they also coincidentally have the phone number of everyone.
Never cry over spilt milk. It could`ve been whiskey.
I didn`t give you the finger...you earned it.
I liked your facebook update, only so I can unlike it.
Home sounds like a nice place, until they say they`re going to put you in one.
If you`re feeling powerless just remember a single one of your turds can shut down an entire water park.
I`m Not Perfect. Your Not Perfect. But Together We Can Be a Perfect Sense of Humor LOL!
My weight loss goal is to not care about the crumbs at the bottom of a Pringles can.
I eat boiled eggs, cabbage, and baked beans before the in-laws visit. They never stay long.
The amount of time my smartphone spends plugged in charging, you might as well want to call it a Land-line
I want to get a welcome mat for my front door that just says "Text Me"
I just slid off the couch and lay on the floor for a while and eventually sat up without using my hands, is that a yoga class?