šŸ˜„ Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 25,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Can Walmart be a feeling? I think that`s how I feel today.
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Call me lazy, but if it takes two clicks I’m not reading it.
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Why does Facebook even give me the option to `Like` my own status? Of course I like my status, I`m F*ck!ng Hilarious! ...and Sexy.
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Ever notice that all the instruments searching for intelligent life are pointed away from earth?
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A cool thing about being in a relationship is that when you make a mistake you get to hear about it over and over.
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The "best part of waking up" doesn`t even make sense.
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The way you feel when your phone dies is exactly how Cinderella must have felt at midnight
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If it`s really the thought that counts, we`re ALL screwed. LOL ;)
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"I’m not drunk!ā€ is an argument only very drunk people think they can win
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I spend 60%of my day worrying that I might have mustard on my face or clothing. The other 40% I am eating mustard.
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When you are dead, you don`t know you are dead but other people do. The same is true when you are stupid.
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Teens, you should not being getting drunk. You`re annoying enough as it is
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Every Facebook photo album could be titled either "Envy Me!" or "Pity Me!"
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Hit the popcorn button on my microwave but none has appeared yet.
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Pretty sure I know what my wife`s getting me for my birthday cause when I guessed, "A 3-way?" she got all angry like I ruined the surprise.
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