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I don`t know which is worse... waiting for someone to get out of the bathroom so you can use it or hearing them say "come in" when you knock on the bathroom door...
Just curious, when pirates use text, IM or twitter, do they used emoticons` like .) .P .D or .( or do they try to fool us by using the two eyed ones?
I`m thinking of changing my voicemail to the following: "If you have reached this recording, please hang up and text me."
Just got a message that said "Hey, I tried to call you"...that`s your problem right there....you should have never tried that.
What this country needs is more unemployed politicians...
The only government agency that listens to you is the NSA.
I may be crazy, but crazy is better than stupid.
I’ll drink responsibly when there is a brand of vodka named Responsibly.
No one needs a vacation from me more than me.
I like to test the waters by pushing people in.
Happy Monday!! I`m gonna sit this one out.
To calculate the average number of times a guy has sex per week, multiply the number of fantasy football leagues he`s in by the number zero.
A part of me wants to go on a diet and eat healthy. Sadly that part of me is a liar.
This is not the status message you are looking for .... Move along
FACT: Men are much less likely to divulge a secret than women. Probably because they weren`t really listening to begin with.