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It’s called “Karma” and it’s pronounced [hah hah fuhk yoo]!!
If you think this status is funny someone you hate will step on a lego.
Big shoutout to whoever decided the ? and ! should be next to each other on an iPhone. That typo hasn’t made me look insane 10,000 times.
Sometimes I`m completely inconsiderate to other peoples feelings. And other times I`m asleep.
How do bats hang upside down without crapping on themselves?
There may be no excuse for laziness, but I’m still looking.
On a math test: 2+2 = ? Me: *Use calculator just in case
Where did Noah keep his bees? ... In the ark hives ... Yes, I`m showing myself out, thanks
How long does it take possums to realize when one of them is actually dead?
I understand vampires being invisible in mirrors, but what the hell happens to their clothes?
You can always count on me to feel you up when you`re feeling down
My roommate complained that I never lifted a finger to help around the house. So I lifted a finger. Apparently, it was the wrong one.
Whoever said time heals all wounds never had their leg bitten off by a shark.
I used to question how much information was too much information. Joined Facebook, It`s much clearer now
Inspirational status: Today’s probably going to suck. Don’t be a little bitch and handle that sh!t.