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Does any one know how to lower the difficulty settings on tinder?
Never take advice from someone more miserable than you are.
I wash once and dry 3-4 times, depending on how much I want to delay folding my clothes.
Ever since I heard that women have one breast bigger than the other,it`s given me another reason to stare.
I`m so hot I stalk myself ;)
You call it free samples, I call it a free all you can eat buffet.
I never met a teenager driving a luxury car that I didn’t hate.
Hand dryers are a great way to see how your hands look while skydiving.
Given how enormous the universe is, I assume there’s an alien out there who does a mocking impression of me. Screw you, alien.
How is it that one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box for me to start a campfire?
I`m not saying you`re stupid; you just have bad luck when it comes to thinking.
i just fell off a 20ft ladder.. good thing I was on the first step.
I can keep a secret… It’s all the other people I tell it to who can’t.
You can always tell if a guy masturbates a lot by looking at his hands. If you look closely, you’ll see a wedding ring.
To my neighbor using a chainsaw at 7:30 on a Sunday morning: Try holding the other end.