😄 Daily Silly Status
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The meek shall inherit the earth. Probably because they`re the only ones who won`t complain about what we`ve done to it.
I do whatever the little voices tell me to do.
If it rains on a dream catcher, does that make it a wet dream catcher?
Forecast for the weekend... mild alcoholism, with a 70% chance of poor decisions and impaired judgement. Increasing chance of regret and hangover for Sunday.
I hate mixed messages. They`re great.
It doesn´t matter if the glass is half empty or half full. There is clearly room for more alcohol.
So I ran into an old girlfriend who I dated who`s new boyfriend she was with looked exactly like me when I was seeing her. You know, miserable
Life is so unfair, why do we always want what we don`t have? For example, right now I want tacos
Life is like a box of chocolates. Get your own and stay the hell out of mine.
One of the things I like to say to a girl after we have sex for the first time is "Hmm, damn weird... I heard you were better."
"Well, now I see how you came up with the word `Microsoft`." -Melinda Gates (on their wedding night)
I don’t like country music, but I don’t mean to denigrate those who do... And for those who like country music, denigrate means ‘to speak badly of`.
Lazy Rule#15325434090371466: you`re so lazy you didn`t even finish reading the number.
Liven up any boring conversation by telling people you have a glass eye and then watch them try and figure out which one it is.
The fact that you don’t find me amazing doesn’t bother me at all, it just confirms what I have suspected all along; that you have bad taste.