Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
There’s a wild side to EVERY innocent face.
I`m a good singer. Unfortunately I have a bad voice.
Stairs are like rock climbing after a bottle of vodka.
My New Year`s resolution for 2014 is to do something about my procrastination.
You can`t find happiness at the bottom of a beer ... Well no kidding, who is happy when their beer runs out.
Has anyone donated any money to ALS? All these ice bucket challenges I been seeing makes me think ... you all some cheap bastards
If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck and looks like a duck then it could be a dragon doing a duck impersonation.
My dog acts like her entire family was murdered by a vacuum cleaner.
You never know how dirty a song`s lyrics are until you hear a child sing them.
I thought I was losing weight, but it turned out my sweatpants had come untied.
My therapist doesn`t believe in werewolves so I left my last session with more problems than when I arrived.
Sitting out in my front yard pointing a hair dryer at speeding cars to see if any slow down.
I`m at the age where if someone says "Go big or go home," I`m usually fine with going home.
I`m sorry. Putting up with your sh!t isn`t on my To-Do list today.
The only reason I offer to be the designated driver is so people will get used to seeing me load lifeless bodies into my car.