Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If people are what they eat, some people must eat a lot of stupid.
Yesterday my boss asked why I was tardy and I said, "I don`t think you`re supposed call people that any more."
Unfortunately, showing that much cleavage doesn`t fix your face.
I`d walk barefoot across an ocean of Legos for you.
The only problem with sarcasm is, it only works on intelligent people.
I always walk through my office with a stern look on my face and a toilet plunger to avoid conversations.
My moral in life is simple. You treat me good and I`ll treat you better.
hmmmm...halo or horns today??
Day six of my push-up challenge. So far, I`ve eaten 107 push-up pops.
What if your soulmate is over there on Twitter while you`re here on Facebook?
Dear McDonalds cashier, Don`t give me that look, there`s no age limit on a happy meal. Sincerely, don`t forget the toy b!tch.
Call me old school, but I think your shorts should be longer than your private parts.
My stove top knob reads, LO | 2 | 4 | 6 | 8 | 10 | HI......so what is Med-High, Medium Low?...They just need to lay it out for me in numbers! Like "set stove top to 8." no wait, 9.? Food manufacturerers and stove manufactuerers need to get toghether on this! So let me see,..... (me thinking)....if ten is high...5 is medium that means 7.5..... WAIT!.....low would be 0 so HI would be 12???....WTF!!! forget about simmer!........HEY KIDS! WHO WANTS PIZZA!
doesn`t need any help being bad but u can come along for the ride if your up for it.
Good Morning! A fresh cup of hot coffee and my FB page is up, just look at that, I already achieved all my goals for the day.