😄 Daily Silly Status
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ATM is telling me I have insufficient funds. Worst part is I was just walking by minding my own business.
Apparently a good way to get asked to leave the gym is to move a treadmill behind a guy on a stationary bike and pretend you`re angrily chasing him.
When you`re tucking your kids in at night, read them a few select Facebook statuses, kiss them on the forehead and whisper "This is why we must stay in school."
Not sure if I need sex, sleep, or to punch someone in the face.
Am I the only one who thinks my body should have better things to do than make nipple hair?
Today, I`m really gonna give it my nothing
hmmmm...halo or horns today??
Whenever I tell the cashier to ‘keep the change`, it takes everything in my power not to call them a filthy animal.
The key to a successful relationship: Tools > Internet Options > Clear history.
Was that lightning? ... No, they`re taking pictures for Google Earth.
Thought I was having deja-vu. But it turns out, I do the exact same things every day.
You know it`s been a good night when you wake up and see bite marks on the walls...
My wife and I are pretty upset. It looks like someone broke in and surfed porn on my computer. They didn`t touch anything else, so that`s good.
24 astronauts were born in Ohio.....What is it about that state that makes people want to flee the Earth?
Today I´m going to entertain the kids with a game of duct, duct, tape.