Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Some people are normal. What an awful, boring existence that must be.
Saw a billboard ad for potato chips that proudly claimed "There`s a lot of pride in every bag!" Hmmm...is "pride" another word for "air"?
"Memory foam pillow fights". That`s one fight you`ll never forget.
Went down the gym and burnt 1200 calories today. I forgot to take the pizza out of the oven!
Talk is cheap, until you hire a lawyer.
It`s weird to think that these Forever Stamps will outlive me.
Neighbors just kicked me out of their shower and called the cops. Some of these pokemon go instructions are confusing. A lot of grey area...
If it hurts you more than it hurts them, you’re probably holding the taser wrong.
I’ll need a weekend to recover from this weekend.
To be honest, I´m just fishing for compliments tonight.
I`ll see your fun outdoor activity and raise you a nap.
If you`re behind someone at the ATM late at night, let them know you`re not a threat by giving them a gentle kiss on their neck.
When I see somebody get on one knee tying their shoe in public I get in front of them, happy cry, and say “Oh my GOD, I will, YES-YESS!”
If we aren`t meant to have late night snacks then why is there a light in the fridge.
You`re one of a kind! Thank goodness...