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I don`t like surprises so, I never open my Electric Bill or my Bank Statement.
Anything worth taking seriously is worth making fun of.
“Swearing is unattractive” I’m not attractive anyway so f*ck off
If everything tastes like us, why do we have to die? –Chickens
Four words that I never want to hear: we`re out of beer
What if the lightbulb had never been invented? How would we know when someone has a really good idea?
Lol at birds that walk places.
Find a penny pick it up and all day long you`ll have good luck. Or some kind of virus because pennies are dirty and gross.
I`m an optimist. To me, the glass is always half alcohol.
I just saw a bus that you would look amazing under.
If all men are created equal then why are there midgets?
If you`re stuck in the wild, rub two mozzarella sticks together to start a pizza.
If I had a nickel for everytime I said, "If I had a nickel", I`d be rich.
Sometimes, I question my sanity ... Sometimes, it replies
gua suka sama kamu