Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Give Me A Minute While I Pretend To Care!
Dear Microsoft Office Word I am pretty sure I spelled my name correct
I`ve grown up a lot recently. For example, I used to drink beer all day and now I drink wine.
I`m at the age where an "all-nighter" just means I didn`t have to get up to pee.
After four centuries, the semicolon has finally achieved it`s true calling: helping people wink online.
We`re all mature until somebody brings out the bubble-wrap...
It’s called “Karma” and it’s pronounced “Haha, f*ck you!”.
I put the b!tch in the kitchen.~ last thing I remember saying before I woke up in the hospital.
After spending the last week stealing cars and killing people I just found out GTA had missions.
Don`t let this historic Cubs World Series win distract you from the fact that Donkey never made Shrek those waffles he promised to make.
Whoever said "What goes around, comes around", never passed around a bag of Doritos......................
Baking soda seems like a scam. "Be sure to keep this box of magic white powder in the back of your refrigerator."
If you reach your hand into a woman`s purse, it crosses into a parallel universe containing everything but the one thing you`re looking for.
for every like, I will fart on my wife face
A father is someone who carries pictures where his money used to be.