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In Store Special - "You`re My One and Only" Valentine`s Day cards... 4 for $5...
The Wizard of Oz is really just a cautionary tale about the lengths a woman will go to for the right shoes.
If a man speaks at sea where no women can hear, is he still wrong?
If anyone could read my mind I`m pretty sure they`d be traumatized for life.
Sure, I`ll go to your open bar and watch you get married.
Dear grumpy people: donuts are only $.99
Another World`s Oldest Man has died. This is beginning to look suspicious.
$5.99 Trojan condoms or $19.99 Huggies diapers. Choose wisely...
I wonder what I did in a previous life to get reincarnated as me...
I wonder how long I`ll be skinny from all this dieting and juicing I`ve been doing. 1 month? A year? A couple of ye....ooh look cake.
Life is like a bowl of soup; you only get blown if you`re hot.
You can`t control who comes into your life. But you can control which window you throw them out of.
ooooh boy, Mother`s Day hangovers...always the worst huh?!
Who was the greatest prostitute in history? Ms. Pacman, for 25 cents that b*tch swallowed balls till she died.
Never compliment a lady on her mustache no matter how magnificent it is