😄 Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 25,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I`m starting to think mosquitoes just land on our faces not to suck blood but to see how stupid we look when we slap ourselves.
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If you ever want to watch a women feel herself up for ten minutes, hide her cellphone.
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I’ll stop being so lazy when being so lazy stops being so awesome.
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Mythbusters is basically my childhood with a much larger explosives budget.
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this guy with binoculars has been watching me watch him with binoculars and i don`t know who`s winning
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I always say "morning" instead of "good morning". If it were a good morning I`d still be in bed instead of talking to people.
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As your best friend, I swear to always pretend to be your lesbian lover when you are getting hit on by an ulgy ass hole in a bar.
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The older I get, the more I enjoy being bored.
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How does one get suspended with full pay and benefits? Asking for a friend who is actually me.
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If you`re buying Smart Water for 4$ a bottle,, I`m sorry to tell you it`s not working
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So the Boy Scouts are going to let girls join. Teenage boys and girls camping in the woods together. What could possibly go wrong?
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The problem with sex in the movies is the popcorn usually spills.
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United Airlines was just voted number one in Chinese takeout!
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Common sense is like deodorant....The people who need it most never use it.
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You can`t run from your problems. unless your fat.
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