Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Violently swerving your car will not throw a spider off the window. Doesn`t work like it does with humans. Just in case you need to know.
So, I bought a wok to cook healthy food and I have to say, these french fries don`t taste any different.
It`s not so much that I wanted to drink the whole bottle of wine, I just couldn`t figure out how to get the cork back in it.
When does hibernation start? Because I am 100% participating in that.
If you workout and don`t post a status about it on Facebook, do you still lose weight?
Don’t judge someone because they sin differently than you.
I walked into SeaWorld with a fishing pole once. I gotta tell ya, those security guards can really run.
Although tequila is highly toxic, it can be used to dissolve the friend zone.
Admit it, you have that one voice that you only use on animals and babies.
Love is like a rubber band, we keep pulling, someone let’s it go, and it hurts the one who held on.
I know the voices aren`t real, but man do they come up with some great ideas.
Siblings – the only people who will pick on you and then kick the a$$es of anyone else who does it.
There is a gym called Anytime Fitness. I choose 2030.
My facebook has been rated PG for Poor Guy
"Don`t let a hot date turn into a due date."--my father`s actual sex talk with me when I was 13.