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The adult version of Operation is trying not to break a tortilla chip while dipping it into a jar of salsa.
How does one get a nice body without moving?
With everything going on lately... I`ve got a lot of serious thinking to do! Oops....Did I say "Thinking".... I meant "Drinking"!!
I am addicted to Cold Turkey. Not sure how I will ever quit that one.
At least thirty percent of my workout is spent picking a different song.
For the record when I was a kid I never wanted to be an adult.
I`m just doing what the beer tells me to.
I`m doing the KFC Bucket Challenge!
I love arguing with you so much, I`ll bring a Ouija board to your funeral.
Cigarettes have warning labels because they are dangerous and addictive yet vaginas are allowed to just roam around freely.
I can`t wait to be ashamed of what I do this weekend
That moment when you have so many things to do...So you decide to take a nap instead!
Don’t get me wrong, you are hot as hell, I am just too lazy to stalk right now.
I`m smiling ... You should be scared.
Don’t judge me because I only have $4 in my pocket. Judge me because I stole it off my daughter’s night stand.