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Sleeping alone is a complete waste of my sexual talent.....
After dinner I like to sit in the garden in my underwear and smoke a cigarette.....but apparently that`s not done at this hotel....
To drink, or not to drink?...what a stupid question!
A hard thing about business is minding your own
Sorry I can’t make it to your party tonight. I have to get up really early tomorrow afternoon.
Life is like a box of chocolates and you`re on a diet so you can`t even enjoy it.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than a dinner for two.
Someday, I`ll live in my OWN basement!
Soup of the day: Beer
Just saw a coyote next to the highway. I hope this tunnel ahead isn`t just painted on.
If adult diapers are called Depends, then baby diapers should be called Definitely!!
Social media is great if you like socializing without wearing pants.
Language is cool because it`s just a bunch of sounds, but put them in the right order & you can make someone cry or you can order tacos.
I think there should be a mandatory test at 16 that you have to pass and if not, you get neutered or spayed.
The record companies have done a good job of fighting piracy by releasing music no one wants to steal.