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According to a recent survey, 98% of people responded with `Go away.`
Redneck word of the day: Twerk "Imma have one more beer then imma get back twerk!"
You call the shots. I`ll drink them.
Facebook: Proving that just because you have an opinion doesn`t mean you should share it.
Guy on plane : So, where are you going to? Me : I`m guessing it`s the same place you`re going.
Lying in bed, listening to the Doors. I really should oil the hinges...
I used to dream about becoming an astronaut. Now I just dream that there`s still time before the alarm goes off.
Is there another word for synonym?
When I was growing up the TV was my nanny.
Just told my dog "Don`t walk in your own poop" and it strikes me as good advice to pass on to the rest of you as well. Please: don`t.
The guy below me obviously has never seen R2-D2.
Next time a guy asks for your number, write it down in Roman numerals. If he manages to call you, he`s a keeper.
The guy who invented, "Take Your Child To Work Day," probably forgot to drop his kid off at school on his way to work..
You bring the friendship, I`ll bring the benefits.
After I drink coffee I show my empty mug to the IT guy and tell him I`ve successfully installed Java. He hates me.