😄 Daily Silly Status
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I look forward to the day that cell phone technology finally catches up with technology in digital watches and they release a model that is water resistant up to 100 meters.
I`m on this great new diet called "sleep through breakfast"
I’ve never been in love but I imagine it’s similar to the feeling you get when you see your waiter arriving with your food.
2 cops walk into a bar… I don’t know what happened after that. I got the f*ck out of there.
There is no better sunscreen than sitting inside a bar.
There’s literally no way to know how many chameleons are in your house.
"keep moving.....nothing to see here"
Girls with tattoos on your tits, Why? We`re already looking at them.
I have never met a woman without wondering what her box of cookie recipes looks like.
Monday: A terrible way to spend 1/7 of your life.
There`s nothing more terrifying than accidentally making eye contact with a mall kiosk worker.
I just changed my relationship status from “left hand” to “right hand”…
People at airports must not workout much because they are all using these treadmills wrong...
I`m off and running like a wounded herd of turtles on valium
I wish all my freckles would just mix into a tan.