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Redneck Word : debate...i was gonna go fishin today but forgot to bring debate
Texting typos can change your life. "Having a great time wish you were her"
Here`s $30. Drink until I am really good looking, then come and talk to me.
Things I use duct tape for, by percentage: Pranks: 35% Car repair: 35% Wrapping presents: 20% Medical emergencies: 10% Ducts: 0%
I just made a voodoo doll of myself. Can someone take it to the gym?
Internet dating: the odds are good but the goods are odd.
If at first you don`t succeed then you`re a loser...
I wonder if Batman knows that other cities have crime, too.
If you don`t leave a buffet looking like someone told you bad news you didn`t get your money`s worth.
boss- "You cant drink while your at work!" .. me- "Oh dont worry im not working!!"
So can we just skip to summer now?
I only use shampoo that smells like raspberries so people don`t think it`s weird when I have jam in my hair.
Took the ice from my ice bucket challenge and put it in my whisky.
I like to gaze up at the stars at night and think about how somewhere there is intelligent life that hates doing laundry as much as I do.
Couldn`t stay awake sitting on the couch, so I laid down in bed to make sure I wouldn`t fall asleep