😄 Daily Silly Status
Your home to over 25,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
When your mother asks you if you`re sexually active, the correct response is: "No, I just lie there."
WARNING:: going to bed on Sunday will cause Monday.
My girlfriend wanted me to show her a good time, so I showed her pictures of me before we met.
Today I am thankful for dirty text messages, stripclubs, and Jack Daniels
If you have attention deficit disorder, throwing boomerangs isn`t for you.
You can always make any conversation awkward by pulling out and starting a stopwatch without saying why you’re doing it.
I`m tough and can take whatever life throws at me ... Especially if its dipped in chocolate first.
Whenever you feel like a genius, remember there was a time in your life when you were learning to not poop your pants.
Happy Birthday to someone I would donate some non-essential organs to, and the fact that a Facebook reminder told me it was your birthday doesn´t make it any less special. Plus I live so far away that your birthday requires almost no effort on my part. And sorry I tried to kill you all those times when we were
Hey Monday+?+(???) +?+
You`ll notice you never see sweatpants with "Classy" written across the butt.
Getting that beach body is easy. You just have to know where to dig.
Bands who can`t afford a smoke machine should hire my girlfriend to cook at their concert
When someone tells you they`re playing a STD game... But you later realise they were talking about Spot The Difference.
Elevator music bothers me on so many levels