š Daily Silly Status
Your home to over 25,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Have you ever tried blind-folded archery? You don`t know what you`re missing.
Got an awesome watch for my birthday. It was waterproof, shockproof, fireproof, bulletproof, acidproof, childproof & scratchproof. I lost it already.
Never confuse the words "venom" and "poison". Venom is injected into blood by an animal. Poison is injected into food by a woman.
Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.
The recipe said "prick with a fork,",,,, but enough about me.
When I was your age, we had to walk ten miles in the snow to get drunk and have sā¬x.
I keep hitting the escape key ... But I`m still here.
If you think women are the weaker sex, try pulling the blankets back to your side.
Got tossed outta Starbucks this morning for asking the really cute redhead behind the counter for a "Quickie". Apparently it`s pronounced "Quiche`" who knew......
I just assume I do everything wrong since I don`t have a wife to confirm it.
Adult: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.
Nothing says lazy like laying on the couch making today`s responsibilities tomorrow`s problem.
If you tell people you used to weigh 500 pounds they`ll tell you how great you look at 250.
A 5 year old asked me what marriage is like. So I gave him a chocolate bar and told him not to eat it.
You find it offensive?... I find it funny.... That`s why I`m happier than you