Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I bet sex is great when I`m not the only one in the room.
Blessed are they who can just read it and move on.
I enjoy long walks away from responsibility.
I have no problem giving credit when credit is due. But giving payment when payment is due is an entirely different thing.
My kids wanna have a water balloon fight later, I just got done putting mine in the freezer... Wanna bet I win...
I refuse to jump on the `I hate Mondays` bandwagon. I hate all workdays equally
To honor Thanksgiving this month I will be calling every one Pilgrim instead of Dude or Bro-- Fair warning
Knock knock Who`s there? Control Freak. Now you say "Control Freak who?"
I think my smart phone is making fun of me behind my back.
I can understand your anger at me, but what could you possibly have against the horse I rode in on?
They say laughter is the best medicine... found out that`s not true for treating diarrhea.
I`m not saying my wife`s voice is annoying, but right now I`m really jealous of deaf people.
When reality kicks in… add more booze.
"you failed just as much as your dads condom."
I don’t have a bucket list, but my f*cket list is a mile long.