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I do all of my ironing in the dryer.
Today is different because after you lie to someone, you tell them you were lying.
Surly not EVERYBODY was Kung-Foo fighting?
DATING TIP: Any time someone is hot and you`re too scared to approach them, remind yourself that they`ve probably had diarrhea at some point
What if every time a song pops into your head, it’s really just your brain intercepting one of the bajillion radio signals bouncing around you?
when girls say bye .......... may be it means buy something for her.....
Some things are better left unsaid...That`s usually the stuff I blurt out right away.
Laughter is the best medicine but if you are laughing without any reason, I think you need medicine
If it wasn’t for caffeine I wouldn’t be a functioning member of society.
Non alcohilic beer, for people who like to pee but hate that annoying buzz.
Flash mobs are so not what I thought. Now I`ve gotta go find my clothes.
Relationship Status: ( ) Single ( ) In a Relationship ( ) Married ( ) Engaged ( ) Divorced (X) Waiting for a miracle
I feel like I have not told enough people lately to kiss my mother f*cking a$$.
One of the best ways to prepare for marriage is to wait 15 minutes in your car before going anywhere.
I sometimes get road rage just pushing a shopping cart though a grocery store!