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Honesty is the best policy, but insanity makes for a better legal defense.
Turns out fantasy football is nothing like I thought it would be. Anyone interested in a naughty quarterback outfit? Serious inquiries only.
The first guy who bought pants had to go to the store without pants on, that`s just science
I am going to write a book about A.D.D., because .. I love fishing. -LOL
Some people, even in photos, just look like they smell horrible.
Music that is meant to be played at a reasonable volume is completely pointless.
If intelligent people don’t start having babies as fast as the trash in “honey boo boo”, we’re headed for a very dumb future. Am I the only one that sees this?!
I`m outdoorsy in that I like getting drunk on patios.
I really thought 2015 had potential to be “my year” but we’re 2 months in and that ship has sailed so I’ll try again for 2016.
Improve your day by ordering coffee in the voice you use for your pets
I`m awesome...just ask me...!!!!
I hope manners is the next cool trend.
Calling all men...Eboli can live up to two months in semen..YES! You better wash your socks.
In heaven, the Cheez-Its are salted on both sides.
A compromise is an agreement whereby both parties get what neither of them wanted.