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When I`m bored I like to dress in a grim reaper costume and stand across the street from the nursing home and wave at the old folks.
What do you mean this posting of the BBQ ribs you made is not an invite?
Halfway through singing a romantic ballad to my cat, it occurred to me that I`m going to die alone.
They say that you are what we eat. This means that I am cheap, easy and ready in 2 minutes!
It really freaks me out that I have a skeleton living inside me......
Hey,,,, I said I`d be there in 10 minutes... Quit calling me every half hour.
I enjoy short walks to the fridge
To be honest, I´m just fishing for compliments tonight.
Here’s your social security card. It’s paper & has to last you forever. Don’t laminate it. Good luck! -The Government
I could see how 2 deaf guys arguing would appear to be gang related.
It`s scientifically proven that stress is caused by giving a f*ck.
I may not have any friends but at least I know my cat will never ask me to help him move
I assume that a Columbus Day sale means I can just walk into a store and take whatever I want.
I didn`t come here to make friends. I go to the cat shelter for that.
The voices in my head are not real, but they have good ideas.