😄 Daily Silly Status
Your home to over 25,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Honesty is the best policy, unless you`re trying to return something that you`ve already worn.
Caught myself yelling "F*CK YOU" to my burrito for dripping on my pants, if you were wondering who`s raising the next generation.
The best part about being at work on Friday is that it gives me 9 hours to figure out what I`m going to drink tonight.
Wife: You always blame other people for your problems. Me: Yeah, and whose fault is that?
To whoever finds the $20 I dropped last night: spend it on alcohol. It`s what I would have wanted.
I hope Karma smacks some people before I do.
Learn cursive, they said. You`ll need it your whole life, they said.
It doesn’t matter what it is. It is automatically cool if it glows in the dark.
Just once I`d like to see someone in a movie call bullshit when someone tells them their phone number starts with 555
When life gives you melons, wear a low cut top.
The awkward moment when you’re not sure if something is your actual memory or if your brain made it up.
I like to reward myself for getting up on time by laying in bed for another 20 minutes.
That annoying moment when a package says "easy open" and you need scissors, a knife, a gun, and a lightsaber just to open it.
No man has ever won a game of `notice anything different about me?`
I wonder if the girls on "16 and pregnant," will come back on "32 and a Grandma."