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some people just need to be kicked... in the stomach... with steel toed boots
Every time you get dressed remember that, if you die, that`s your ghost outfit forever.
the difference between people and celebreties ...... celebreties don`t have a routine
Thank you for informing me that you have a stick figure family of 6 and a dog. Your minivan had me under the impression that you were wild and single.
The amount of alcohol I would need to sleep with you would actually kill me.
I drink because people talk.
Every semicolon I have ever used has been a complete guess.
You say I’m not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I’m not cold, I’m hot. I know I’m hot. Thanks for embracing it.
I`m off to get my beauty sleep. Yeah, I know...I`m already so beautiful you can`t stand it! I promise...a little more isn`t lethal...yet! ;) Goodnight!
If you don`t remember her name in the morning, take her to Starbucks.
After spending the last week stealing cars and killing people I just found out GTA had missions.
Let`s be honest... Gay Divorce Court would be the best thing to happen to daytime TV in the history of ever.
I didn’t get the job… heading home.. Good Bye Rome.. until we meet again.
The Titanic is a great lesson of why just the tip can get you in a lot of trouble.