😄 Daily Silly Status
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All I`m saying is if guys were meant to make them, they`d be call sandWIZARDS.
Here is your New Years Resolution. All of that stupid sh!t you did last year? Don’t do that crap this year. Done. You’re welcome.
I`d rather run into the four horsemen of the apocalypse than a group of women out on a "girls` night."
18 is TOO young to get married! You can`t even buy booze at 18! If you can`t buy booze, how the hell are you gonna make a marriage work?!?
Republicans are red, Democrats are blue. The government is shut down cause neither one gives a damn about you.
Say what you want about Captain Hook, but he ran that entire pirating operation singlehandedly.
I am convinced that Kellogg`s works for our Government and all that Snap, Crackle, Pop is CODE.......
Boobs are like the Sun. You can stare at them directly just for a few seconds, but if you put on sunglasses, you can stare as much as you want!
The two major causes of depression are: a) having a job, and b) not having a job.
I’ve found that the things I’m most interested in aren’t really in my best interest.
Hello? HP? I’d like to make a return. I ordered a Laser Jet but you sent me a printer.
Go to police station 2. Say a gang mugged you 3. Describe your own relatives to police sketch artist 4. Claim free family portrait
Just called the fire department to tell them that dogs pee on fire hydrants so they should probably all wash their hands.
If people would moan loudly during a pat down, the line would move much quicker.
If cats could text you back, they wouldn`t.