😄 Daily Silly Status
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In my defense, your honor, he had the keyboard clicking sound on his phone turned on.
The meek shall inherit the earth. Probably because they`re the only ones who won`t complain about what we`ve done to it.
I have a new rule: No one is allowed to talk to me for a minimum of 24 hours after I wake up.
Sorry I called the police when I saw you running, I didn`t know you did that for fun.
A drunk man walks into a bar...but enough about me...
The overspray from my windshield washer fluid just totaled a smart car.
when i was little my dad told me that the icecream man only played music when he ran out of icecream well played dad well played
If anyone has any terrible ideas, I`ve historically been very open to them.
my mom and I have so much in common..she doesn`t listen and niether do I :p
According to my iPhone Health app, I walked 1,787 steps around this Golden Corral buffet tonight .... So I got that going for me.
Why get married when you can just drive into oncoming traffic?
The first 5 days after the weekend are always the hardest....
If it wasn`t for physics and law enforcement, I`d be unstoppable.
HR says I`m not allowed to scream "OH GOD IT BURNS MAKE IT STOP" when I walk through the front door at work anymore :(
Yesterday I saw something that reminded me of you. I almost stepped in it!