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Anything is possible when you have no clue what you`re talking about
You can be like "This is a slippery slope" or you can be like "Weeeeeeee!"
When I go running, I usually meet new people..... like paramedics.
If your wife asks you if you know where the broom is, it`s not a good idea to ask her if she is going somewhere.
My wife always laughs during sex – no matter what she’s reading.
A procrastinator`s work is never done...
Each day is a gift, but some days are socks and underwear
I need u to do me a favor... Stand in front of my car please... I need to test my brakes :)
Everyone always wants to date the hot crazy chick.....Till you`re standing outside watching your house burn.
My mind is like "LETS DO THIS SH!T" but my body is like "calm down motherf*cker"
I hate when I wake up in a strange house, & have to go outside to look at a license plate to figure out what state I`m in.
I like to Party! ... and by Party I mean take Naps
I worry about people who write "taken" in their bios. Where did they go? Who took them and why aren`t we helping to find them?
Obviously the movie "the good wife" is not based on a true story. It`s fiction people.
Cheered myself up earlier by putting a "no U-turn" sign in a dead-end street.