😄 Daily Silly Status
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If you are offended by the things I post on FB you can only imagine the ones I don`t post.
Doing pretty good so far on my 1500 calorie a day diet as long as I don`t eat anything else today and tomorrow.
I`m "oh my god, gag me with a spoon" years old.
Restaurant Advertisement: We serve food as HOT as your neighbour’s wife; And beer as COLD as your own. :)
This Crazy Weather Makes Me Want To Masturbate Furiously!!!
Please don`t post pictures of cats on my FB wall. I am allergic.
I’m like a kid in a candy store. I can’t afford anything.
After committing a crime, always carry a fire extinguisher. No one gets stopped while running with a fire extinguisher.
Never give up on your dreams, keep sleeping.
Everyone has a purpose in life ... Perhaps mine is finding things to bitch about.
is confused. Oh wait, maybe not.
A lot of times I wonder if people think my girlfriend is only with me for my money.....but I am always reassured by the fact that I don`t have any money..........or a girlfriend....
Me, a morning person? Pfft. Most days I`m not even an afternoon person.
Vodka can be mixed with anything, including more vodka.
Good thing I`m judged on my actions and not my thoughts.