Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Did you ever notice that the doctor’s bill is always a lot more readable than the doctor’s prescription?
How many divorced guys does it take to change a lightbulb?...........Who cares, they NEVER get the house anyways.
An apple a day is bullsh!t. Apples are dangerous. Just look at Eve, Snow White, Blackberry or any pig at a luau.
When my friends ask me to babysit, I ask if the kid is a "mean drunk" or a "happy drunk." Gets me out of it every time.
Pro tip - You can blame anything on autocorrect.
I always see more people walking into Sam`s Club than out of Sam`s Club, but the meat`s cheap, so I don`t ask questions.
Are you always this stupid? or are you just making special effort today...
A man typed in search box on Google : “What do women want?”. Google Replied : “We are also searching…”
The hardest part about having a vivid imagination is finding enough things to climb on to avoid all the frickin’ lava on the floor!
Had a great time watching the family oriented PG rated Shrek with my grandson last night... until he asked why a Donkey would have sex with a Dragon.
This might be the worst online counseling site ever.
The real trouble with reality is that there`s no background music.
If you`re sad/single/both on valentines day just remember you can buy 40 chicken nuggets at McDonald`s for $8.99
My version of Heaven would be filled with all the things I`d probably go to hell for.
Forget Klondike, you should see what I`d do for an open bar.