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“If you can’t handle me at my worst, then you don’t deserve me at my best” literally translates to “I’m a loud, sloppy drunk.”
I am not acting childish and you`re just a big doody-head.
Siri, destroy the vehicle in front of me.
I’ve never had angry sex. I’m always happy and quite surprised that it is actually happening.
How do I tell a man he loves me?
Facebook has suggested that I POKE you.
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she`s been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
If you attached a bunch of watches together to make a belt it would be a waist of time.
My car rides usually consist of playing my music on random, then pressing “next” about 400 times.
I would just like to personal thank all the people in my life that have caused me so many problems, for making me the as$ I am today!
I`m not saying your cat doesn`t care about you, I`m saying if Lassie was a cat, Timmy would still be in that well.
my stomach just growled and it sounded like it said... `Droid`....
I never finish anyth...............
My wife just changed here facebook status from "Married" to "widowed", should I be scared?
Getting another set of teeth would be much more useful at age 60 than age 6.