😄 Daily Silly Status
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I feel like I could give a great NBA locker room speech. "Guys, we`re all millionaires, none of this matters."
Damn it. I missed the number of the day on Sesame Street and now I don`t know how many pills to take.
If abortion is murder then are condoms kidnapping?
Hunting is easier for vegans because it’s easier to sneak up on plants.
At the end of the day, life should ask us, ‘Do you want to save the changes?’
PESSIMIST: Dark tunnel. OPTIMIST: Light at the end of the tunnel. REALIST: A train. TRAIN OPERATOR: 3 idiots standing on the tracks.
Rubix cubes are EASY....when you`re color blind.
The only real difference between my 20s and my 30s is that now I make all my bad decisions before midnight.
If you lick the frosting off a cupcake it becomes a muffin, muffins are healthy :) your welcome.
I am surprised Cheech and Chong have not filmed a new movie -"Cheech and Chong Smoke Colorado"
My life is much more fun and interesting when I`m single... Problem is I can`t remember any of it.
I think my other three stove burners are becoming jealous of front-right.
After a night of heavy drinkin’ there’s one thing I can’t stand… and that’s up.
Probably the worst thing you can do to a person is leave them a voicemail.
I`m at that "licking peanutbutter off a spoon" time to go grocery shopping point....