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I wish more people were fluent in silence.
At least clean up the bathroom before taking your profile picture.
When suffering from insomnia I either count sheep or ask my GF how her day was.
I like to start my morning off with a good nap.
You know you’re ugly when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera.
If pi is 3.14, then I think .99 is a good deal for 2 doughnuts.
There are four main food groups: 1. Canned 2. Frozen 3. Fried 4. Drive-thru
Sorry about last night texts. My phone was drunk.
Only a fool trips on what`s behind him.
Sometimes I watch sports holding an xbox controller just to screw with my girlfriend`s head.
I thinking about how im disgusted by holding a gas pump but yet, I have no problem drinking my beer from a cup that ten other people drank out of, and a backwash covered ping pong ball was just thrown into it after hitting a dirty a$$ garage floor??
It`s funny how things change when you get older. It seems like just yesterday I would spend my evenings on the front porch and treat myself to some killer weed. Now I spend my
I am sweet, lovable, kind, shy, and innocent ... Oh, for heaven`s sake! Stop laughing!
Buys Mega-Millions ticket. Has a better chance of being hit by lightning in a cave.
I wonder what my future wife is doing right now ... Hopefully modeling.