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Welcome to journalism, where everything is made up, and the sources don`t matter.
We can operate a robot on another planet, but yet I`m still struggling to get this vending machine to take my wrinkled dollar.
It´s Friday-O-Clock!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sometimes, I`ll start a text with "lol" if it might be a sensitive subject. Like, "lol it`d be cool if you moved out."
That awkward moment when both your knees are bruised, but all you did was gardening
Life is what you make it = 10% Shit happens = 90%
They`ve got this brand new machine at the gym. I only used it for about an hour because I started to feel sick, but it`s awesome - it`s got Mars Bars, KitKat Chunkys, Cheetos, crisps.... everything!
I`m the type of person that would thrive in solitary confinement.
Stand for what you believe in. Or sit on the couch and have a couple of donuts. It`s a free country really.
Is it just me, or is Fantasy Football basically Dungeons & Dragons for jocks?
Apparently members of the Westboro Baptist Church were outside a theater when the marquee gave way and came crashing down injuring several of them amidst their protest. Witnesses overhead many of the members muttering to themselves, "It must be a sign."
If your buttcrack is showing out of your pants. I will drop change in it and make a wish.
I woke up praying McDonald`s would still be serving breakfast but I just missed it by 6 hours.
Random Fact of the Day: Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.
I`m going to become a hermit as soon as I find a cave with a decent wifi connection.