😄 Daily Silly Status
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We`ve all been talking about your paranoia.
My girlfriend said she wasn`t impressed and felt she needed a man with at least 6 inches. So I folded it in half.
Hair growing from my ears and nostrils doesn`t mean I`m getting old, right? Means I`m turning into a werewolf! Right?
Whenever someone tries to get too friendly with me, I like to call them by the wrong name to remind them of where we stand.
200 pictures of you at the bar and 2 pictures with your kids. You must be quite the mom.
In all my years, I have never finished a pencil.
So I was thinking... since the kids get the Easter bunny, why shouldn`t I expect a visit from a Playboy bunny today?
"Safely remove USB." Who does that?
Damn you auto correct mind your business.
Sharing your faith on Facebook is like sharing a fart in a elevator. It might feel nice to come out but no one really wants to hear it.
exercise........you mean extra fries
I want to live in a world where the Food Network delivers.
Someone just called me normal, I`ve never been so insulted in all my life!
I snuck popcorn into the movie theater but they won’t let me use their microwave.
Dear life, When I asked if my day could get worse it was a rhetorical question not a challenge.