πŸ˜„ Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 25,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

We`ve all been talking about your paranoia.
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My girlfriend said she wasn`t impressed and felt she needed a man with at least 6 inches. So I folded it in half.
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Hair growing from my ears and nostrils doesn`t mean I`m getting old, right? Means I`m turning into a werewolf! Right?
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Whenever someone tries to get too friendly with me, I like to call them by the wrong name to remind them of where we stand.
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200 pictures of you at the bar and 2 pictures with your kids. You must be quite the mom.
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In all my years, I have never finished a pencil.
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So I was thinking... since the kids get the Easter bunny, why shouldn`t I expect a visit from a Playboy bunny today?
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"Safely remove USB." Who does that?
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Damn you auto correct mind your business.
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Sharing your faith on Facebook is like sharing a fart in a elevator. It might feel nice to come out but no one really wants to hear it.
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exercise........you mean extra fries
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I want to live in a world where the Food Network delivers.
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Someone just called me normal, I`ve never been so insulted in all my life!
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I snuck popcorn into the movie theater but they won’t let me use their microwave.
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Dear life, When I asked if my day could get worse it was a rhetorical question not a challenge.
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