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I`m trying to be healthy and grow my own food but I can`t find any Twinkie seeds. :/
My girlfriend said she wasn`t impressed and felt she needed a man with at least 6 inches. So I folded it in half.
Always look for the girl with the ponytail holder on her wrist.
Not all girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice. I`m made of sarcasm, wine and everything fine.
My family is missing that gene that tells you when trash cans are full.
ah... Crocs the 21st century version of the chastity belt
Your selfie would be way better if you weren`t in it.
There is no greater stress than the stress of a guy who forgot his phone & left it at home with his wife.
Patience Is When Playing TETRIS And U Let Those Bricks Fall On Their Own Without Speeding Them Down
If you want to set up a company and run it then that`s your business.
How to Train Your Dragon offers no practical dragon training information. NONE. Zero stars.
They say a dog park is a great place to pick up girls. I don`t have a dog so I am walking around with a bag of poop so I won`t look weird.
"Can`t touch this." ... "Can`t touch this." ... "Can`t touch this."--MC Hammer giving a Museum tour
If you would`ve told me back in 1999 that we`d still be using animated gifs in 2015, I would`ve said "Wow, what a boring conversation"
Don’t you hate when the person you’re Facebook-stalking never updates anything.