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Say what you want about Kim and Kanye naming their daughter North West. That kid is headed straight to the top. And slightly to the left.
What number SPF blocks people?
Everybody says waking up at 5 in the morning to exercise makes you feel great but I think lying in bed for another 2 hours feels better.
It´s Friday-O-Clock!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If I rapped I would have to start doing way more stuff because only so many things rhyme with couch.
On the highway, getting passed by a minivan is the football equivalent to getting tackled by the kicker.
I love nostalgia. Not sure what it means, but it reminds me of magical words from my childhood.
thinks that drinking beer is the second-most satisfying thing a guy can do for himself with one hand.
I love bacon because I can wrap it around everything. Essentially, it`s the duct tape of food.
"Something`s wrong. He`s never walked this far before."- what my shoes would say if you walked a mile in them.
I need a fixed income. Mine is broken.
Depression is wanting to lay down and realizing that you are already laying down.
Nice try speed bumps, it`s a rental.
If we’re not supposed to eat late, then why is there a light in the fridge?
Don`t be afraid of a few extra pounds, fat people are much harder to kidnap.