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Thought I saw a kangeroo today turned out to be a greyhound taking a dump !
I used to like my neighbours, until they put a password on their Wi-Fi
Started a new exercise routine yesterday. So far I`ve only missed one day.
I don`t speak Spanish, but I`m pretty sure "Dora" means "annoying"
Ever had one of those days that you feel like you should have skipped the coffee and went straight for the booze?
He won`t let me complain to the neighbors, so I renamed the WiFi to `SHUT YOUR DOG UP, D!CKS`
Apparently “cheesecake & tacos” wasn’t the answer the interviewer was looking for when he asked me what my weaknesses are.
Everything is legal when the cops aren`t around.
Why do they call a status a status if it already happened? I mean, shouldnt it be called History?
A lot of times I wonder if people think my girlfriend is only with me for my money.....but I am always reassured by the fact that I don`t have any money..........or a girlfriend....
I asked him about his weekend, but apparently what happens in vagueness, stays in vagueness.
I want to delete a bunch statuses, so if you guys could just message me your passwords that`d be great.
Life gets expensive when you trust a woman that`s cute.
Sorry I poked you all over your body, but I was just looking for the off button.
When ever I think about the past...It brings back so many memories