Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
This status update is only available in English.
I hate when my girlfriend accuses me of something I didn`t think she knew about.
A box 5 lb. box of chocolates: $40, Valentines Day card: $3.75, not being yelled at for 35 minutes until the chocolate is gone: priceless!
As a child, you dream of adventure, travel & success. As an adult, a lot of the time, you just hope the toilet flushes.
I wonder how seaworld would react if I walked in there with a fishing pole....
Ya know those scenes where the guy shoves everything off the table and throws a woman on it yeah I`ve only done that with pizza
Instead of presidential debates, we should just have a dance-off.
Debate?.....isn`t that what you use to catch "The Fish" ?
Shake up a random soda pop in the company fridge today. You deserve it.
It`s never going to work out between Mario and the Princess. Most of the time she`s on a whole other level.
If it`s tourist season why can`t we shoot them?
Is it wrong to ask someone with an eye patch "Was it all fun and games up to that point?"
Running shoes? No, I don`t run. These are my "better hurry up the liquor store is about to close" shoes.
Imagine my disappointment when I discovered a "Booby Prize" really wasn`t boobies at all...:(
Swearing: because sometimes "golly gee" and "meany" just don`t cut it.