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feels like getting some work done ... so I am sitting down until the feeling passes.
A good office manager never let`s you run out of ink, paper or vodka
A Positive attitude may not solve all our problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort!
I`m not drunk ... But I`m working on it.
Why is it that when you work very hard, you say you are working like a dog? Every dog I`ve ever known is lazy and sleeps 16 hours a day.
Sarcasm: just one of the many services I offer ;)
There was a piece of chocolate cake in the fridge and a note “Don’t eat me”.Now there’s an empty plate and a note “Don’t tell me what to do”
I don`t know what`s longer, a treadmill minute or a microwave minute.
I just met the most interesting man at the laundromat And then I realized that he can`t even afford a washer or a dryer
I don`t appreciate my son`s teacher circling all the wine stains on his homework.
New Life Goal: Get a job where people ask me, "You actually get paid for doing this?"
A lot of people don`t know this, but you can quietly like or dislike Obama.
If anyone knows Phillip tell him I have a bunch of his screwdrivers.
There is no such thing as something looking "Too good to eat"
Me and my cat have been staring at each other for so long I forgot which one of us is stoned.