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I’m what you would call “indoorsy”
They say swearing is due to limited vocabulary. I know thousands of words, but I still prefer`f*ck off` to `go away`.
Turns out Xenophobia is not `A fear of Warrior Princesses`
Health tip: There`s never a `safe` time to shake a teenage boy`s hand. Never.
Survival rule #1: You go first.
Procrastination comes to those who wait.
I just drink until the sadness becomes hilarious.
Flight to Vegas...guy in front of me has a bouquet made up of dollar bills. Pro Tip: That stripper will never marry you bro.
Facebook has suggested that I POKE you.
If I gave you a penny for your thoughts I`d totally be expecting some change back.
Families should be able to trade people, just like professional sports teams.
I`m old enough to remember being the tv remote.
Good for you, people that do things.
I have no idea what swag is, but I`m fairly certain what I have is the opposite of whatever it is.
People always ask me, where do I come up with my status`, do I make them up, or do I get them from the internet.. Truth is people. I use Status Enhancing Drugs.