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Yes I have a dirty mind ... And you`re on it!
I often worry that mankind is going to start World War III soley because we enjoy trilogies.
The problem with trouble is that it always starts out as fun.
Why do the people with the most annoying voices always appear to have the worst case of verbal diarrheal??!!
Forecast for today: Unproductive with a chance of a late drinking session.
When I bust a move , it stays busted.
Do they have to play movies so loud at the theatre? I litterally have to scream into my phone.
Iām not getting old. Iām becoming a classic.
Don`t be upset that you`re single; be happy that someone isn`t ruining your life.
My therapist says I`m a clueless, un-observant trainwreck. Which is weird because up until this moment, I never even knew he was a therapist.
It costs over $235,000 for parents to raise a child today. And that`s just for the alcohol.
It would be funny if the husband is actually sleeping with the Jake from state Farm.
"Iyam A. Wii Todd" <-- Bet you can say that name out loud, in a crowded place, and really fast!
People go to the bar hoping for 2 things...to get hammered or to get nailed.
Is it too early to start drinking? - some moron with a clock.