Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I can`t wait for the day when my kids are old enough that I can drink with them and not because of them.
I didn`t get a chance to do yoga this morning or any other morning of my life.
I just found out people are playing golf online. And I thought my life sucked!
I don`t mind people sneezing in public. It`s that "Pre-sneeze face" they make that scares the hell out of me.
I have no fear of heights. I do, however have a fear of falling from heights.
Some of you take selfies from so close up, I`m beginning to wonder if you`re a T-Rex.
Do not drink and drive.. because there are people out there who text and drive... and they will hit you and it will be your fault !!
If a man says something in the woods.. And there are no women there.. Is he still wrong? O_o
I always say "morning" instead of "good morning". If it were a good morning I`d still be in bed instead of talking to people.
"How many people work at your company?" About half of them.
I`m sorry baby, but me & you are not going to work out. We are going to watch tv.
When you have the opportunity to become a bigger person, take it because cake is delicious.
My favorite sex position is, "don`t tell anyone we did this".
Crowded elevators smell different to midgets!
I`ve done it in the bathroom, I`ve done it in the bedroom, I`ve done it in the kitchen, on the couch, outside, in the bus, yoo I just can`t seem to stop this texting.:)