Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Men are like dogs. We’re excited to see you and have no clue what you’re mad about.
And we all have that one friend who has more blonde moments than an actual blonde.
My new home security sign : "EBOLA QUARANTINE" - Deters salesman, thieves, and neighbors.
The ultimate act of trust is buying your spouse a gun, and then showing them the correct way to use it.
Gray hair is the human body`s equivalent of low toner.
Isn`t it ironic that crocodiles like water and people who wear Crocs are douchbags. Ok, maybe I don`t know what ironic means.
A mouse trap, placed on top on of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep.
did you notice when you yell "yo ugly" about 10 people turn around
If watching the big-screen TV with your pants off and a bag of Doritos is wrong, then they shouldn’t have couches at this Best Buy
Actually, I prefer to smile on the `inside`, then no one knows what you`re up to....
My new year`s resolution is to stop making new year`s resolutions.
When I die, I want a cellphone in my coffin...just in case
I wish Facebook wasn`t the only place I could block people from my life.
Nothing says love like hearing a toilet flush on the other end of the phone.
I`m thinking of making a sax tape to make myself well known like some of the bad boys and girls do...does it matter if I can`t play it?