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She asked me for time and distance. I guess she wants to calculate velocity.
My dream job would be the Karma delivery service
Yeah he`s still bugging me...he thinks Harass is two words.
To show my support for Breast Cancer Awareness Month, I`ll be giving free breast exams all month. Hit me up if you`re interested.
I´m a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect!
We always say that our elders are wise, because of their years of experience. But you know what? ... Stupid people get old too.
May the bridges I burn light the path in front of me...
I just found a piece of pizza in my trash can. HOW DID THIS HAPPEN!! WHO WOULD DO SUCH A THING!!
I`ve just realised that I`ve got one of those cool body types that can eat whatever I want and get fat.
With great power comes great electricity bill.
Inspirational status of the day: Don’t be a douche.
You can get super human strength when put in life or death situations. Last night I uncorked a bottle of wine with my teeth during a tantrum...
Nice try, self-checkout lane. There`s not even any mirrors.
Someone invited me to their dog`s birthday party on Saturday. What a freak! I am NOT coming to your dog`s birthday party! Besides, my cat is getting married that weekend!
Those days where you don`t take anyone`s sh!t ... Yeah, today is one of those days.