Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
More food should come with prizes inside it.
Corduroy pillows?... They`re making headlines!....
Boss: Why aren`t you working? Me: I didn`t see you coming!
Let`s start by taking some notes today. I`m fabulous bitches! Write that down.
When you drink Vodka over ice, it can give you kidney failure, When you drink Rum over ice, it can give you liver failure, When you drink Whiskey over ice, it can give you heart problems, When you drink Gin over ice, it can give you brain problems. Apparently, ice is really bad for you.
Do you guys know there are "actual" people out there that don`t have a Facebook account? What the hell do they do all day?
Describe myself in three words ... 1. Lazy
Girls who don`t get naked when you`re drunk.. Explain yourselves.
Stop complaining about the rain. Cause rain makes corn and corn makes whiskey.
Iām just SOOO busy. I spend 70% of my day telling people how busy I am and the other 30% trying to make myself look REALLY REALLY busy.
Honestly, Officer, I wouldn`t have pulled over had I known you were just going to criticize me
If you insist on sending me pics of your boobs please at least be a female!!
Life Tip: Get a birthday card with anything you are embarrassed to buy.
You made several good points, and I understand that you are right, but the way you said it was so douchey I have to take an opposite stance.
One day I hope the bravery of the people who initiate clapping is recognized.