Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My tombstone will read I should have googled it first.
When the hostess at the restaurant says "table for 2?" I always like to look surprised and whisper "you can see him too?"
Monday comes saturday ends and somewhere in between i realized i slept the weekend away....):
If you don`t give a f*ck then why you telling everybody?
Ever since I heard that women have one breast bigger than the other,it`s given me another reason to stare.
am updating my status just to let you know my status has no status
Shark week is over, but I`m not taking my decorations down.
I took a sexual harassment course this afternoon ....I think I`m gonna be pretty good at it.
Dora the explorer.... Y U NO GET GPS?
Advertising taught me that hair conditioner makes you move in slow motion.
Hockey: because running on knives makes sense.
Mouth the word " vacuum" to a stranger & see what happens.
What if dogs bring the ball back because they think you enjoy throwing it?
I`ll be there in a second I just gotta finish writing this letter of apology to a club owner for tearing up his dance floor last night..
Two of the greatest mysteries of the universe: 1) Why are we here? 2) How come Chinese restaurants don`t serve breakfast?