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It’s proving very difficult to find a shop selling “Left Guard” for my other armpit…
Your dating profile should be like house listings. 1. Sq. footage 2. Date built 3. # of previous owners? 4. Finished basement?
Texting while driving is incredibly stupid and dangerous ... You`re practically begging for typos.
IM LOST! I`ve gone to look for my self. If u see me, tell me to wait here till I get back.
if its got tits you will get nothing but trouble !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My dream job would be the Karma delivery service
went to vegas: put a coin in the machine and a prize came out, put another coin and another prize came out...problem is i don`t know what to do with all these empty cans now.
These peopele at the gym are looking at me like they expect me to share my donuts ... SMH
No one`s lazier than the guy who came up with the name for Juicy Juice.
When I`m home alone and I walk into the basement, I start talking out loud about all the karate I know.
I would like my FB friends to know that the opinions and comments I make on FB in no way reflect the actual thoughts, opinions or actions of me, or my family. Its all for fun. The only posts that I actually mean are the same ones you agree with.
My 5 year old still has so much to learn. I asked him for a screwdriver and he brought me some sort of tool.
I always assume anyone sitting alone in a car in the dark corner of a grocery store parking lot is waiting to meet a hitman who is running late.
Let It Snow is my favorite song about people who don`t understand how weather works.
I play hard to get along with.