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Got my friend a Starbucks gift card. 2 weeks later I get a call. They said hey Dean, u put any money on this Starbucks gift card. I said no it´s a gift card. That´s the beauty of it u can put as much money on it as u want.
I can`t get the cork off my dinner.
I`m gaining weight for my role as "Before picture"
If you`re reading this then I`m wishing you a Happy New Year! Stay safe, have fun, and remember, I like New Years gifts too!
I will not be impressed with technology until I can download food from the internet.
This might be my ego talking, but I feel my weight-loss spambot followers care about me. They really, really, do.
Look, all I`m saying is that the dinosaurs didn`t drink alcohol and look what happened to them.
It’s only Wednesday and I’m 95% done with this week.
I dunno who decided on the spelling of bologna, but it`s obvious he had no idea how letters work.
This woman just flipped me off and I couldn`t agree more.
If at first you don`t succeed, you`ll get a lot of free advice from folks who didn`t succeed either.
you`re about as useless as a red light in grand theft auto
roses are red, violets are blue, I suck at poems.. you have nice boobs
I`m in no shape to exercise patience!
Sometimes I think hip hop music gets a bad rap.