Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I smile when I`m having dirty thoughts :)
I was thinking earlier, thats all, just wanted everyone to know that it does happen from time to time........
Teens today have it so easy. We didn`t have self-checkout lanes when we bought condoms.
Is it just me or does chocolate taste even better late at night, hence the the last four letters of the word chocoLATE?!
Do you ever watch a movie and realize you have to watch it again because you were on your phone the whole time?
Hey.. The tequila I drank wants to tell you a secret.
Got arrested at the airport last week. Apparently, security doesn`t appreciate it when you call "shotgun" before boarding a plane.
Whenever there is an awkward silence try whispering, "Did you forget your line?"
looong and hard, yep thats my pencil.
One of my favorite discoveries about adulthood is that there are literally no rules stopping you from eating an entire row of Oreos at once.
Don`t talk to me until I`ve had my coffee, my breakfast, lunch, juice, dinner, and at least two glasses of wine.
After I clear my browser history I do a quick google search for things like "feeding the hungry" and "How to thank a loving wife"
If I haven`t offended you, just scroll thru my timeline. It`s in there.
Don`t apologize because you haven`t posted in a while. No one cared.
1) Second. 2) Minute. 3) Hour. 4) Day. 5) Week. 6) Month. 7) Year. 8) Decade. 9) Century. 10) Millennium. 11) Women buying clothes.