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cable TV.... helping us avoid Presidential speeches for nearly four decades
Sometimes I get up really early, drink some coffee and read some awesome motivational quotes. Then I go back to bed.
It’s a little sad that today’s youth don’t get to experience a red rubber dodgeball to the face like we did back in the day.
Hockey is more enjoyable if you pretend they’re fighting over the world’s last Oreo.
I tried my best to see things from your point a view, but your point of view is stupid.
Exercise? I thought you said "extra fries".
Relationships always start out as "You`re smart and funny." and end up as "You think you know everything and it`s all a joke to you!"
Lame! I was tricked into watching PS, I Love You! It`s definitely NOT about a guy that marries his PlayStation.
The girls who don’t get a rose on The Bachelor should automatically get a cat.
My phone tried to autocorrect "f*cking" to "f*ck king," and I was like hell yeah I am.
Just sneezed 8 times in a row and saw the entrance to Narnia for a split second.
Happy Birthday to all those ladies that their men forgot about because it falls on Super Bowl Sunday this year.
Why does the person who snores always fall asleep first?
It’s not pretty being easy.
I used to be poor. Then I bought a thesaurus, and now I`m impecunious.