Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Wine is just grapes for procrastinators.
I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.
I`m not an alcoholic I just have a lot of things to celebrate.
I`m fortunate that anger and nicotine have zero calories.
Doctor said only clear liquids before surgery. Vodka qualifies right?
Momma didn`t raise no fool. I did this all on my own.
Objects in spandex are larger than they appear
Unless you tripped and smacked your face on the treadmill, no one wants to hear about your workout.
It`s always nice to be called Pretty in the morning. So what if he was hiding behind the trash wearing no pants.
gave up trying to understand women years ago. Women understand women and they hate each other.
I think I really have an amazing butt, every time I talk to someone and start walking off they say,"what an a$$.."
You use Google every day but I bet you can’t remember the order of the colors.
In alcohol`s defence, I`ve done some pretty dumb sh*t while completely sober too.
There are two key elements to success. 1) Never tell anyone everything you know.
2015 and I still can`t believe it`s not butter!