Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
why earn money when it comes easier when you just ask
Two flies sit on a pile of poop. One fly passes gas. The other fly looks at him and says, "Hey do you mind? I`m eating here."
is available for rebound sex.
Sometimes, I like to stalk random strangers vacation pic`s, and tag myself as one of the people in the background just for laughs.
Just got a new phone. Pretty pissed all my contacts were not lost.
I used to have a life. Then some idiot came along and said "Why don’t you make a Facebook account? It`s fun".
I got my stomach by doing as many crunches as I can everyday. Usually either Nestle or Captain.
When one door closes, another opens ... I had a Chevette that was like that.
North Korea no!, really, go home! now you are really drunk!
Why do guys cheat on pretty girls with ugly ones...?
Deep down, we`re all that one lady in 7-11 with her bathrobe on.
In case I drink too much and pass out for a while, Happy New Year you guys.
That depressing moment when you dip your cookie into milk for too long, it breaks off, and you wonder why bad things happen to good people.
Hangry: (noun) a state of anger caused by lack of food. May evoke negative change in emotional state. Translation -- Feed me or I`ll kill you.
I`m trying to give up sexual innuendos. But it`s hard........so hard......