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I will not be satisfied until I see a car with one woman sticker and twelve cat stickers.
If you need help moving I am one hundred percent there for you emotionally.
I love how people say they`re "expecting" a baby, as though it might be something else, like a penguin.
Ladies, life is short. So buy the shoes!
I hate when people see me at the store and are like "Hey, what are you doing?" I`m like "Oh you know, hunting elephants."
Do you ever dislike someone so much that you hate when people are nice to them?
I hate it when I think I`m buying organic vegetables and I get home to discover they`re just regular doughnuts.
I`m an accident looking for a place to happen!
I hate it when I get too drunk and just kidding I never hate getting drunk!
The skinny girl inside me once tried to come out. I shut that b*tch up with a cupcake
everyone is BEAUTIFUL in there own way--your just to UGLY to see that
What if your soulmate is over there on Twitter while you`re here on Facebook?
Took my 3rd self-defense class, so if anyone feels like attacking me straight on, very slowly, w/ a fake knife in their right hand, BRING IT
It`s hard to focus on a home workout when your home also contains a refrigerator full of delicious food
Im still waiting for Anheuser-Bush to name a beer "responsibly" so i can drink it!