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Girls who say "alot of guys are after me" should keep in mind that cheap things always attract many customers.
Its weird that goldfish will eat other goldfish but wont eat goldfish crackers. Life sure is complicated sometimes.
there is a big difference between spray tanned and looking like you rolled in nacho chesse doritos.
It`s actually pretty impressive how many poor decisions I can fit in a day.
Can Walmart be a feeling? I`m pretty sure that`s how I`m feeling today.
Sometimes I like to play God and just ignore everyone when they talk to me.
If you don`t boo at people after bad sex, how do you expect to motivate them to get better?
Facebook prank #23 Go in everynight and change your birthday to the next day...then see how long it takes for people to catch on....
I know you`re supposed to have 3 balanced meals a day, but how many can I have at night?
Mom: Clean your room. We`re having guests over for dinner. Me: I didn`t realize that dinner will be held in my room.
Good news: I finally got my computer connected to the wireless printer. Bad news: not sure which house I need to go to get my documents.
Fitness? More like fitness whole cheesecake in my mouth.
I hate it when TV shows say they contain "adult situations" but then don`t show anyone going to a job they hate, and paying their bills.
If you have a Selfie Stick Pro, go back two spaces.
There are only 53 days until Christmas... just a heads-up in case you haven`t shopped for me yet.