Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I’m proud of anyone who has quit doing drugs and alcohol, I don’t want to hang out with you now… but I’m still very proud…
Wishing you a fabulous 2014 that is full of great achievements and experiences. A meaningful chapter waiting to be written HAPPY NEW YEAR!
This town has more white trash in it than a dumpster behind a paper plate factory
My New Year`s resolution was to lose 15 lbs by the middle of February. I have 20 lbs. to go.
In my defense, I was left un-supervised...
Hire a hitman is apparently not the correct answer to "what would you do if you won the lottery"
I have the body of a God. Unfortunately, it`s Buddha.
I only drink on two occasions; when its my birthday and when its not.
The only part I like about doing laundry is saying I`ve got a big load
There is no one more trustworthy than Clark Kent`s dry cleaner.
Why can`t someone look at me the same way I look at pizza?
I`m right 98% of the time. Who cares about the other 3%?
I have four missed calls from my mom. A rescure team is gonna break down my door and find me sitting on my couch in my underwear eating cheetos any minute now.
Do angry people know about naps?
Nothing is truly lost until your mom can`t find it.