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It’s a good thing not everyone has a smartphone. Someone has to honk when the light turns green.
Matchbooks exist just to be clues in detective movies.
I wish you could Google anything. Like, "Where the f*ck is my remote?" and it would be like, "It`s under the couch dumbass."
I hate it when I`m singing a song and the artist keeps messing up the words.
I`m not "rich" ... But, actually, it depends on how you define wealth. If you`re talking about money, relationships, or happiness, then no still
Saying I have a drinking problem is like saying Bruce Lee had a kung fu problem, it`s not a problem if you`re good at it.
is not impatient. I just patient really fast.
I can update Facebook from anywhere. Even when crossing the stre
Know your customer. Think like an idiot.
I have tons of friends! Well i only have one... but she ways a ton!
Word of advice. If your wife or girlfriend ever asks "hypothetically speaking, if I was to arrange a threesome for your birthday, which of my friends would you pick to join in?" Never give two names......ever.
He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.
Ironman and Batman`s only super powers is being super rich and smart really makes Bill Gates a real disappointment.
I don`t have a problem with caffeine. I have a problem without it.
I don`t understand the saying "you snooze you lose"... I hit the snooze button 8 times this morning and feel like a champion.