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Are nap dates a thing? Because that`s something I can work with...
When in doubt, just do the opposite of whatever the person wearing pajamas in public is doing.
I’d like to think I’ve taught Citibank a valuable lesson about handing out credit cards all willy-nilly.
Saw a woman crying as she was buying tampons last night. ..Must be going through a tough period in her life.
If you want to get me to do something, bribery does work.
buying an old Mercedes Benz so that people may think you have been rich all along
I miss the old days when street gangs asserted their dominance through aggressive hair combing.
Me: But where do you see this relationship in five years? Her: Sir! For the last time, do you want extra cheese or not?
I have a friend with one eye, he`s pretty cool about it, instead of :D he sends .D
Possible Fact: White guys with corn rows make dangerous zombies, cuz you can`t possibly run away while laughing that hard at the same time.
is wondering why books on "how to make women happy" arent displayed in the fiction section
“You look tired” is just a polite way to tell someone they look like sh*t.
Most of my colleagues and friends can`t spell colleagues or friends.
Common Sense is so rare, it should be classified as a super power.
Putting ketchup on steak should also affect your credit score.