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Doing it wrong is the only thing I do right.
I party like a Rockstar. A very poor Rockstar who isn`t in a band anymore.
Why is it called when animals attack? It should be called when retarded people go near dangerous animals.
"I am upping my standards... so up yours!"
Just bought a Ken doll. I don`t know what everyone`s talking about, you can`t read books on this thing.
Guess what`s brown and sticky... a stick.
Never compliment a woman on her sideburns ... no matter how magnificent they look.
Scientist Proved That There are more Than 124786534688644478 People Living In This world who are Too Lazy To Read The Above Number...!!!
There is no angry way to say `bubbles.`
This day is going downhill faster than a wagon full of fat kids!
I`m just going to start wearing a shirt to work that says "I`m good, thanks for asking."
3 Things you need to know: Yes I Have. Yes I Can. Yes I will.
is running out of excuses for the stupid things I do. Please submit suggestions below.
I just missed winning the lottery by only 6 numbers.
Having the worst day ever. All traffic lights I passed were green so I had to stop on the side of the road to check my Facebook like some caveman.