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I am so thankful there is no alert that tells someone how many times I have enlarged their profile pics.
I have found that the best work from home occupation is a bartender
does anyone know if smurfs are gluten free
Excuse me but which level of Hell is this?
Fun thing to do: Before leaving someone`s house, ask them if you can take a roll of toilet paper "to go"
A few bad decisions really liven up a boring day.
You`re the one who wore a red and yellow scarf to class. So don`t look at me weird for shouting "10 points for gryffindor" when you answer questions cause I know you wanted this. -Bfanch
I was just thinking, which is the biggest thing I plan on accomplishing today.
Some of the happiest years of a woman`s life are when she`s 29.
That awkward moment when you sing the wrong part of a song with confidence.
Fun fact: Deciding where to eat is the leading cause of divorce
I`m not lazy... I`m in energy saving mode.
Make any conversation awkward by pulling out and starting a stopwatch without saying why you`re doing it.
Before you refer to someone as your ex, make sure they know you dated.
Why do people at home on TV have their pants on?