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When I was younger, it was wine, women & song. Now I am older, it`s beer, the old lady & TV!
I see the Seven Deadly Sins as more of a To-Do list.
According to physics heat makes matter expand.....therefore I don`t have a weight problem....I`m just hot
Sometimes you have got to talk to a 3year old toddler in order to understand the meaning of happiness in life.
if money grew of trees, girls would be dating monkeys
I enjoy planting sex toys at yard sales in nice neighborhoods, then sit back to watch the magic unfold.
I can`t believe I was late for work tomorrow..
I imagine a world where whining on Facebook is illegal.
On the Internet you can be anything you want ... It`s strange that so many people choose to be stupid.
Today is the first day of the rest of my Vodka.
is a reasonably intelligent person who does moderately stupid things on a semi-regular basis.
The easiest way to escape a conversation is to interrupt the other person and say "this conversation is going great" every few seconds
Part of me wants to help you with your crisis, but part of me wants to go to happy hour.
?"Cheating" is such a strong word. I rather call it "talent scouting".
Grammar. The difference between feeling your nuts, and feeling you`re nuts.