Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
So they say that having to much sex can cause memory loss, which is just a little something I seem to remember reading in a Rolling Stone magazine once on page 64 paragraphs 3 through 5 while sitting on a park bench October 14th 2002 at 3:46 p.m
Apparently, I did not use enough a$$hole repellent today
Things I hate about work: 1. Waking up 2. Humans 3. Working
The recipe I am making says to chill for 30 minutes so I`m sitting back and having a margarita!
Some idiots actually sold their homes and properties thinking the world was really going to end! What losers. I hope my boss gives me my job back on Monday
Turning on your lights and siren after you lose a drag race is just poor sportsmanship.
You`re either part of the solution, or you`re one of my coworkers.
Sir, your burrito is $5.97. With guacamole, your total comes to $386,932.32
Me being rude: Shut the f*ck up. Me being polite: Please shut the f*ck up.
Dear penis, thanks for not bleeding once a month. Sincerely, every man ever.
I wish Facebook wasn`t the only place I could block people from my life.
Things that don`t kill spiders: 1: furniture polish 2: Febreze 3: butter 4: screaming
I`m glad that we as humans settled on the hand shake as a greeting instead of the whole ass sniffing thing.
Women, we don`t say this enough, but thank you...Thank you for not killing us in our sleep. Sincerely, Men.
If women kept their feelings to themselves would they explode? Guess we`ll never know.