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Ladies, not every guy who talks to you wants to bang you. Some of us know that you have booze and snacks in your purse.
Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial muscles.
I lost an ibuprofen under my dresser a week ago and now I`m worried the spiders are coming after me with no headaches and renewed vigor.
When I die, I want people to say, "That guy owed me a lot of money"
I`m pretty sure the whole "ladies first" thing was created by a guy just to check out girls butts.
Cashier: Would you like your milk in a bag? Me: No, let`s just keep it in the carton, ok?
I`m not mental, other wise the rubber duckies would have told me by now...
According to my iPhone Health app, I walked 1,787 steps around this Golden Corral buffet tonight .... So I got that going for me.
Understanding women number 476,395: Women like to talk about their feelings.
Irresponsible is when your neighbor doesn`t pay their wifi bill.
Chips have little nutritional value. That’s why you need to eat the whole bag.
i didn`t know i had a facebook account until now
The “Slow Children Playing” signs always make me sad. Would it cost that much more to thrown in punctuation?
I pulled my wife`s panties to the side.......then put the rest of her socks in the drawer.
I remembered my wedding anniversary today. It was last week.