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If we can have HD video from Mars,,, then I should have 4 bars on my phone everywhere I go.
Sorry I got drunk and said and did everything I wanted to say and do.
I’ll stop being so lazy when being so lazy stops being so awesome.
I`m not saying your opinion is stupid, I`m just saying you`re stupid for having it
No one ever said life was easy, but several people did say that you were.
I did not trip...the floor looked like it needed a hug.
they say money cant buy you happiness but id much rather be crying in a fararri...
I was planning on doing something today, but I haven`t finished doing nothing from yesterday.
ME- I love it when you lay me down like that, the way you touch my belly and put cold things on me baby DOCTOR- Miss this is a medical examination and you are making me extremely uncomfortable
Always keep a bottle of wine in the fridge for special occasions. You know…like Thursday.
I never use the phrase, "Your guess is as good as mine" because, well... it`s not.
It`s really cold out there folks. If you`re heading to Wal-Mart, please wear two pairs of pajamas.
You could pleasure me just by walking away.
Today is boozeday, I mean Tuesday...same difference!
Thursday doesn`t even count as a day, it`s just the thing that`s blocking friday.