Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Personally, I believe that around 93% of the world`s population should run with scissors.
Of course your opinion matters. Just not to me.
the kids next door challenged me to a water fight. I`m just updating my status while the kettle boils
when girls say bye .......... may be it means buy something for her.....
That`s not chapstick in my front pocket.
I leave notes on people’s windshields telling them I smashed their car and did an amazing job fixing it.
Pool party at my house, bring ur own pool..
Babysitting is a way for teenagers to feel like adults while adults go out to feel like teenagers.
I am at my most hostage negotiator when I see my 3 year old with a permanent marker without a lid.
If it wasn’t for profanity, I wouldn’t be a pro at anything.
It`s that time of year again, to reflect and remember how much I love my tax deductions. Kids... I meant my kids.
Last night a movie theatre was robbed of $1000. The thieves took one large bag of popcorn, a combo meal, and a box of milk duds.
The correct term for gluten-free, sugarless, vegan brownies is "compost."
It`s the little things in life that count, like pills.
I swear, its like EVERY payday I gotta spend money cause there`s a birthday party to go to, a wedding, a baby shower, a new video game, a new stripper, something. Always something...