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Ah Friday my second favorite F Word
My friend is a magician, she can turn anything into an argument.
Match dot com, but for socks.
I don’t like people who can’t make fun of themselves. It just makes more work for me.
You`d be surprised at how many times I`ve gone home, when i hear someone tell me "Go hard or Go home".
What`s worse to have stuck in your head; a knife or All About That Bass?
I only eat the entire pint of ice cream in one sitting so that I won`t be tempted to eat it later.
I got kicked out of the zoo for feeding the ducks ... to the alligators.
There`s a big difference between a mechanic and a surgeon when they work on a tranny.
“I saw that.” -Karma
I like to reward myself for getting up on time by laying in bed for another 20 minutes.
News flash! someone just found Carmon Sandiego!
Anyone knows when is Facebook sending us the W-2 forms
If Wendy`s think their square burgers are so awesome, why don`t they use square buns?
I think the saying "every man for himself" was made up by women tired of making sandwiches.